오랜만일세

Once again I have abandoned and then returned to my poor blog. I apologise to my blog for continuously doing this but this is who I am.

I was just lying down to go to sleep but I failed as it's only been 14 hours since I got up from sleeping and I am nowhere near sleepy enough to sleep again, yet. Anyway, what I wanted to say was that as I was lying, I started to ponder about things I have abandoned, things to which I have sort of "assigned" excuses of abandonment. For instance I am not caring about any Studylink crap just because I have no access to my mail. But soon I realise this is no more than an excuse because I can always contact my mother/father/sister and ask them if any Studylink crap was in the mail. It is merely because I don't want to deal with it while I'm away.

For similar reasons, I had abandoned my blog. I blame the "microblog"

You know, like Twitter.

Usually I come write here with a thought and then the thought extends as I write (blabber) on. But with Twitter, the thought just stops there as a single tweet. Maybe I'm using it wrong.

Whether this thought on how microblogging has affected my blog is very useless, I needed to write so I could feel like I've done something today. I miss having to work for something. It's always around 2 months into holidays that I start feeling this way. Surely I have things that needs done and things I planned because I want to do them, but without timely pressure it's not getting anywhere.

When people around your age with similar interests to you start doing something "real," for many reasons like achieving a personal goal/dream or persuing a career, it gets you thinking about where you are. How far down you are towards what you want. This should motivate you. In my case the motivation comes a little after a mild depression.

I don't know how to express 우울함 in English without using the word depression or depressed, as there's a difference between 우울함 and 우울증. I don't even think I'm capable of getting depression, I worry but I worry too little.

Hitting 홍대 tomorrow. Planning to discover more (better) shops.

less talking, more looking

I had something to write and now my head is wiped

Everything seemed like it rushed past the past eight, nine months, with things tightly packed into either a little yellow diary - or july onwards, into the iCal - which I felt a weird satisfaction from filling in. All year long I kept reminding myself that I can't wait to go away for the holidays and finally get the hell away from projects and assignments, and then all of a sudden, here I am at the front door of what could be the most influential few months of my life.

It was always one after the other, events, studies, assignments, and with procrastinations of various types fitted perfectly in between each and every one of them - I say this now while I can, that I swear procrastination is useful, and completely necessary under some terms and conditions. It was almost as if I had to keep myself busy in order to be able to say at the end of it all, "wow, that went by really quickly," although, regardless of how busy one can be, it would have felt like that anyway. I have this theory that at the end of every year people will feel like the year went by faster than the previous. I need some research to prove it, either scientifically or psychologically, I will get on to it when I feel like it.

It's as if it was all happening on another dimension and, at the end of it, I'm put back to when I just graduated highschool. There's several ways you can explain why I keep getting nostalgic about that time, something along the lines of starting to feel like I had some responsibilities. Though, I can't say I haven't changed. Who doesn't change at all for a year, if they do they would just be unwilling to admit to it. Throughout the year, I've had so many daydreams about the future, both near and further, that half of my memory of the year is what I would want in the future. Also I no longer like to write a blog entry with just meaningless blabber, I feel like it should have a "structure."

It 's not because I feel like I'm old enough so what I say should be "heavy" and have some sort of importance. In fact, just the opposite. We should always make a habit of how we used to think, before it's too late - before we "grow up," which I think just means conforming to society. We aren't all the same so we wouldn't write the same way. If one thinks rather crazy, then that's how they should write. When there is a chance to look back, we wouldn't be able to avoid feeling rather embarrassed about what we said and how we said them. But it was just who we were then, or who we tried to be then.

ready.

One exam left, but got ten days to study for it so I'm going to consider my holiday commenced, problem?

Won't be occupied with tasks I felt that I had to do, so it's up to me whether I bum it away. I'll see it as a chance to build some personality.

Swagger store in Nagoya. I don't know much about the brand, but I've like mostly what I've seen. What I like more than the fashion is the way their stores are designed (it's not only about the interior!)

I want to buy you this whole label.

coat !

꺅.

distractions

are essential.

And so is common sense.

.

Jean-Pierre Jeunet

being.

“solitude had the peculiar and original power of not isolating us but projecting our whole existence out into the vast nearness of the presence of all things.”

Heidegger's Hut by Adam Sharr, extract from newspaper article "why do I stay in the provinces?" by Martin Heidegger, 1934.

.

getting paid for reading and writing about this crap at some quiet apartment ( in europe ) would be the dream. I guess my current situation is pretty similar, sitting in the window seat with the sun on my back and I'm supposed to read this crap. But it's so mind blowing I keep wanting to copy it onto my blog, it's distracting.

I've had a year's worth of chocolate fingers within the last two days. I must stop...

Two Heidegger books in the archi library have been taken out by me and they haven't been recalled for the past two months, does that mean no one out of a hundred people wants to read about it except me? Is it because he used to be a Nazi? Pshht.