오랜만일세

Once again I have abandoned and then returned to my poor blog. I apologise to my blog for continuously doing this but this is who I am.

I was just lying down to go to sleep but I failed as it's only been 14 hours since I got up from sleeping and I am nowhere near sleepy enough to sleep again, yet. Anyway, what I wanted to say was that as I was lying, I started to ponder about things I have abandoned, things to which I have sort of "assigned" excuses of abandonment. For instance I am not caring about any Studylink crap just because I have no access to my mail. But soon I realise this is no more than an excuse because I can always contact my mother/father/sister and ask them if any Studylink crap was in the mail. It is merely because I don't want to deal with it while I'm away.

For similar reasons, I had abandoned my blog. I blame the "microblog"

You know, like Twitter.

Usually I come write here with a thought and then the thought extends as I write (blabber) on. But with Twitter, the thought just stops there as a single tweet. Maybe I'm using it wrong.

Whether this thought on how microblogging has affected my blog is very useless, I needed to write so I could feel like I've done something today. I miss having to work for something. It's always around 2 months into holidays that I start feeling this way. Surely I have things that needs done and things I planned because I want to do them, but without timely pressure it's not getting anywhere.

When people around your age with similar interests to you start doing something "real," for many reasons like achieving a personal goal/dream or persuing a career, it gets you thinking about where you are. How far down you are towards what you want. This should motivate you. In my case the motivation comes a little after a mild depression.

I don't know how to express 우울함 in English without using the word depression or depressed, as there's a difference between 우울함 and 우울증. I don't even think I'm capable of getting depression, I worry but I worry too little.

Hitting 홍대 tomorrow. Planning to discover more (better) shops.

less talking, more looking

I had something to write and now my head is wiped

Everything seemed like it rushed past the past eight, nine months, with things tightly packed into either a little yellow diary - or july onwards, into the iCal - which I felt a weird satisfaction from filling in. All year long I kept reminding myself that I can't wait to go away for the holidays and finally get the hell away from projects and assignments, and then all of a sudden, here I am at the front door of what could be the most influential few months of my life.

It was always one after the other, events, studies, assignments, and with procrastinations of various types fitted perfectly in between each and every one of them - I say this now while I can, that I swear procrastination is useful, and completely necessary under some terms and conditions. It was almost as if I had to keep myself busy in order to be able to say at the end of it all, "wow, that went by really quickly," although, regardless of how busy one can be, it would have felt like that anyway. I have this theory that at the end of every year people will feel like the year went by faster than the previous. I need some research to prove it, either scientifically or psychologically, I will get on to it when I feel like it.

It's as if it was all happening on another dimension and, at the end of it, I'm put back to when I just graduated highschool. There's several ways you can explain why I keep getting nostalgic about that time, something along the lines of starting to feel like I had some responsibilities. Though, I can't say I haven't changed. Who doesn't change at all for a year, if they do they would just be unwilling to admit to it. Throughout the year, I've had so many daydreams about the future, both near and further, that half of my memory of the year is what I would want in the future. Also I no longer like to write a blog entry with just meaningless blabber, I feel like it should have a "structure."

It 's not because I feel like I'm old enough so what I say should be "heavy" and have some sort of importance. In fact, just the opposite. We should always make a habit of how we used to think, before it's too late - before we "grow up," which I think just means conforming to society. We aren't all the same so we wouldn't write the same way. If one thinks rather crazy, then that's how they should write. When there is a chance to look back, we wouldn't be able to avoid feeling rather embarrassed about what we said and how we said them. But it was just who we were then, or who we tried to be then.

ready.

One exam left, but got ten days to study for it so I'm going to consider my holiday commenced, problem?

Won't be occupied with tasks I felt that I had to do, so it's up to me whether I bum it away. I'll see it as a chance to build some personality.

Swagger store in Nagoya. I don't know much about the brand, but I've like mostly what I've seen. What I like more than the fashion is the way their stores are designed (it's not only about the interior!)

I want to buy you this whole label.

coat !

꺅.

distractions

are essential.

And so is common sense.

.

Jean-Pierre Jeunet

being.

“solitude had the peculiar and original power of not isolating us but projecting our whole existence out into the vast nearness of the presence of all things.”

Heidegger's Hut by Adam Sharr, extract from newspaper article "why do I stay in the provinces?" by Martin Heidegger, 1934.

.

getting paid for reading and writing about this crap at some quiet apartment ( in europe ) would be the dream. I guess my current situation is pretty similar, sitting in the window seat with the sun on my back and I'm supposed to read this crap. But it's so mind blowing I keep wanting to copy it onto my blog, it's distracting.

I've had a year's worth of chocolate fingers within the last two days. I must stop...

Two Heidegger books in the archi library have been taken out by me and they haven't been recalled for the past two months, does that mean no one out of a hundred people wants to read about it except me? Is it because he used to be a Nazi? Pshht.

Johnny Palantine - Disco MV

very official. waha !

well done, Cheung.

우리에게 내일은 없다.

"일을 시작하던날 형에게물었다, 형이 아는 가장 먼 미래는 언제나고. 형은 짧게대답했다."

"내일"

must watch !

"말장난"

1

눈이 시커면 여자들이 무더기로 다녀갔다
나는 그런 여자들을 좋아했다 눈이 시커멓고 빠르게 다녀가는 여자들
듬성듬성 걸린 새옷 어깨 마다 사만원짜리 손톱이 지나간다 거기에 예술이 깃들었다
그러더니 지나간다 노루와 고래와 고양이 기름을 버무르고는 지나간다 거기에 영혼이 생겨난다
매 같은 형태의 복식을 부풀리고 조르고 해체하고 어떻게 다시 조립하고 해서
계절별로 득달같이 입어대는 나는 그런것이 좋았다
그 여자들의 흐들어질 목살 만큼이나 좋았다
반쯤 드러낸 히프 위에 박은 한탄스럽게 멍청한 라틴말의 문신만큼이나 좋았다
빠르게 들통나는 예쁜것들
예쁜것으로 그만인 그런 쉽고 멍청한 예쁜것, 들.
나는 정말로 그런게 좋아. 죽겠다



2

내 목구멍을 지나왔던 지난 밤의 궤변이나
주말 아침에 등졌던 서쪽 하늘이나
계절마다 모양을 바꿔 유행하던 나의 연인들은
철철 쏟아내던 땀방울은
너무나도 유의미하게 관능적이었던
허연 침대보에 화석으로 남겨질 줄로 알았던
말장난



3

생각만큼 어려운 일은 아니에요 생각하지 않은 만큼 어려울 뿐이죠
말처럼 쉽지만도 않아요 말처럼 하지 않는게 더 쉬울 뿐이에요
예쁜것과 아름다운것이 어떻게 다른 줄 아나요
멍청한것과 멍청하지 않은척 하는것의 차이죠
나에게 말이에요 아주 전적으로 오로지 완전히 내 기준에만 말이에요
그러니 발끈할 필요는 없어요, 이건 다 장난이니까
구멍을 다 틀어 막을 수는 없어요
퇴로를 확보해 두는 편이 훨씬 편한일이죠
충분히 피곤했잖아요
알것같지 않나요
당신이 부여한 의미들의 무의미함
글을 쓴건가요 그림을 그렸던건가요 낙서같은거였나요
아니
뭐였던들

ㅇㅎㅅ님ㅆㅇㅇㄷ에서펌질해왔습니다.

MBTI

▩ ESTJ 사업가형 ▩

구체적이고 현실적이고 사실적이며 활동을 조직화하고 주도해 나가는 지도력이 있다.
실질적이고 현실감각이 뛰어나며 일을 조직하고 계획하여 추진시키는 능력이 있다. 기계분야나 행정 분야에 재능을 지녔으며, 체계적으로 사업체나 조직체를 이끌어 나간다. 타고난 지도자로써 일의 목표를 설정하고, 지시하고 결정하고 이행하는 능력이 있다. 결과를 눈으로 볼 수 있는 일, 즉, 사업가, 행정관리, 생산건축 등의 분야에서 능력을 발휘할 수 있다. 속단 속결하는 경향과 지나치게 업무 위주로 사람을 대하는 경향이 있으므로 인간 중심의 가치와 타인의 감정을 충분히 고려해야 한다. 또 미래의 가능성보다 현재의 사실을 추구하기 때문에 현실적, 실용적인 면이 강하다.

▒ 일반적인 특성 ▒

감정이 잘 드러나 직설적인 언어로 표현한다

솔직하고 화끈하다

나서기를 잘한다

휴일에 약속이 없으면 불안하다

주장이 강하고 나서길 좋아한다

논리적, 분석적 객관적이며 분명한 규칙을 중요시하고 그에 따라 행동하고 일을 추진하고 완성한다

고집이 있지만 논리적으로 긍정하게 되면 더 이상 고집을 피우지 않는다

혼자서 일하기 싫어한다

일을 잘해 놓고도 존경받는 일이 드물 수 있다

집단에서 분위기 보다는 목적의식을 중요시한다

경영자 적인 재질을 지녔다

한번 시작한 일을 철저하게 뿌리뽑는다

전철을 탈 때도 어느 칸에 타야 갈아타기 편한지 계산하고 탄다

예약과 계획의 생활화

독창력, 창의력이 부족하다

말이 빠르고 걸음이 빠르다

화끈하며 뒤끝이 없다

지배하려는 성격이 있어도 양보는 잘 하지 않는다

감동시키기보다는 이해시키길 원한다

외출 시 꼭 메모를 한다

가만히 있으면 피곤하다

▒ 개발해야할 점 ▒

지나치게 일 중심적이기 때문에 가족에게 소홀 할 수 있으므로 일보다 사람 중심적인 생활에 필요.

급하게 결정하기 전에 여러 상황을 생각할 필요가 있다

타인의 정서적인 면에 관심을 가질 필요가 있다

oh fuck yeah

check out this motherfathering sexy piece of ass.

who would bother spending money on crap like iphone (4) or you know, even food when you can own this baby and have no money at the same time. droolgaga

T_T i want so bads.

보고싶다보고싶다

헐헐헐, 스틸만봐도캡재밌겠지않음??

'Psychic' I think it is what it would be called in English, whatever, anyways, comes out in November. I hope I would be able to see it in the cinemas when I go in December omgshomgsh강동원님사랑해요왜케잘생긴거야이걸어다니는조각같은사람아파마가너무잘어울리잖아

Vegan police out to getchu..

거짓말한개도안보태고좀짱

oh oh oh oh

This is why I love you

hoooooh

너무이쁘잖아

Durand

"Ars combinatoria, a combinatory art of assembling a finite number of components into infinite variations of assembled wholes"

wish list

mmmsweet

love the smell of hot crisp canvas that's just been ironed. Kind of, buttery...

Watching ( or just listening ) to Amelie while working. And wishing I was still doing French.

oh fock. Is there anything you can't look sexy doing?

ohohohoho

Brain fried. I don't know how to be innovative.

foldaway cardboard bookshop

installation by London designers Campaign, at London Festival of Architecture.

mm yummy

too mind-fucked to sleep

watched 'Inception' tonight directed by Christopher Nolan, and came home to search up crap about it. There's like a million interpretations to what the movie's suggesting throughout and also about the ending. No point arguing about what the "real" ending is, since Nolan didn't show it, maybe he didn't decide what the ending was going to be himself so just left it for the viewers to decide. In fact, I think the ending is not as important as the whole concept.

Anyways, an idea from the reviews that I liked was that the movie 'Inception' was Nolan's inception into the audience's minds. The idea of dream-reality, the possibilities and depth of dreams, and questioning that maybe our reality in fact is a long dream which we do not realise.

Even more in love with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Just too sexy floating around in the corridor of the hotel in his suit and vest. Gah.

How do I sleep again?