RAH

다짐

오늘같이 이런소리 많이 듣지만
오늘같이 이렇게 와닿은적 없었던거같애

미안해요

내가 생각이 짧았던거같애
더 잘하고는 싶은데
그런건 정말 그렇다는 생각뿐이었나봐
이제서야 상대방이 보기엔
내가 노력하고있지 않았다는게
당연했던거같아

이순간 지금 이마음 기억해야하는데
아침에 눈뜨면 사라지는 다짐따위
더이상 안해야 하는데

하루아침에 고쳐지진 않겠지
그러니까 매일매일 기억해야하는데
그럴려면 특히 네도움이 필요할거 같아
내가 삐뚤어 지려고 할때
바로잡아주리라고 믿을게
너만큼 내마음 이해할 사람도 없을테니까

나 잘할게.
노력할게.
약속할게.

HOLIDAYS

I guess winter breaks aren't as exciting. I don't know, it's not like during the Summer that I'll do much more stuff except that in summer we can read at the beach.

Oooh new steinlager edge. Want to try.

Anyway I was talking about winter. So since I have a few weeks I made a list of things I want to do. Do you want to know? Why, you really really do? OKAY !

+ exercise: because everyone gets fat in winter. And being in archi is really not good for my back. So I will need to be more flexible in order for my bones to not collapse very soon.

+ sewing: I have a million things to fix up and resize and make. Which i haven't started yet. Don't worry, I'll get to it soon..........

+ save money: which is contradicting to my next bullet point

+ shop: I want a new phone and I am planning on using my fabric voucher because i hear fabric is on sale and and and I want the country road shoes ! Yum

+ blog and cy more: pshshtt yeah good luck

+ read: I plan on finishing it. Finally.

There you go. Bahaha.

Section: Nicole

And there, a section about Nicole. LOL okay jokes. Okay I'm gonna talk about Nicole. Wow feels like Edmund should be here reading this. But that would be weird because then he would know we make fun of him. Omgsh omgsh. Anyway, what I realised about Nicole today is, how much she suits the bum look. Yeah it should be how she looks everyday, no? lololol. I THINK SO YEAH.

Man it's cold. It's 12 degrees. Aha.

I'd put a picture in but I can't be bothered. Hm. So Ill give you this: Really into him, again, at the moment. After watching Transformer 2. Blah. He used to be cute and now he's got that old hot man kinda look. YUMMY.

하루종일졸려

I don't know if I should just keep taking so much caffeine, but then without it I'll need regular sleep and I cant have that if I want things done on time and I NEED things done on time so there's really nothing I can do about not drinking caffeine....

ARCHI IS KILLING ME

Actually.

I'm up 4:40am writing a complaint about it to myself because I got bored of doing my assignment.

I don't know if it's the coldness or the body being tired due to lack of sleep and inappropriate posture or the workload or the assignments being due soon but today about 7 ish hours ago I thought for the first time that I wanted to quit, for a while at least. And that maybe this was too challenging for me afterall.

It's only first year and it's definitely not going to get any easier as I go but I'll get used to it and it'll seem more familiar and easier right? But then at the same time I fear getting used to it because that means having to give up sleep and healthy eating and all that crap. Maybe it's just impossible and a selfish mindset to want to balance both.

I guess it's fun.

No it's definitely fun when I'm really into it.

Except tech.

UGH I HATE TECH.

I'm sleepy. But kind of awake. Next week it'll get tougher. 24 hours in a day is not enough. I work better in the day, I wish the day was longer. Omgsh I need summer. The cold is just making me want to cuddle up next to a heater and sleep. ALL DAY.

I WANT TO SLEEP ALL DAY.

미친다 정말 ㅋㅋㅋ

사랑하는너
힘들어하는거 같아
보기가 힘들어
멀어진느낌
그래도 나보고
웃어주는거
고맙지만
혼자 끙끙대지
말란말이야
내가있는데,
아무리 남자여도
기대고 싶을때가
있을거아냐.

내가사랑하니까
쪼금만힘내

1초에한방울

할말이 없어서 발끝을 봤더니

한방울씩 물방울이 멀어져 가고있다
눈물 한방울이 부서질때 마다

내마음도 조각처럼 부서져 가네

가지마 가지마 가지마

이말 한마디 마저

꺼낸다는게 어려운거야

이제우린 그런 사인걸

떠나는 마지막 네모습

너무 보고싶지만

일그러진 얼굴 조차 창피한 사이

일초에 한방울 남겨진 눈물이

우리에게 남아있는 시간의 전부겠지

조금만 천천히 흐르면 안될까

눈물마저 멈춰지면 어떻게 할까

가지마 가지마 가지마
이말 한마디 마저
꺼낸다는게 어려운거야
이제우린 그런 사인걸
떠나는 마지막 네모습
너무 보고싶지만
일그러진 얼굴 조차 창피한 사이

Wow I'm back

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry....

Eheheheheheheheh, wow it's been like a month since I last posted huh? I try not to (but I don't really try not to) but I keep doing this, ~__~ everytime, I'm like this time I'll post more regularly and not let this die...

But thanks to Jessie's nagging ! I'm gonna try a little harder ! Because she and Cole seem to check regularly and for those two (and more) I shall write.

Anyway, getting back to my life, I've been rather busy with school and other things. Since my last post, I went MT with archi peoples to ... Omgsh I forgot... Yeah it doesn't really matter, it was just somewhere quite close but in the west coast of Auckland, the weather wasn't that great and when we were waterballoon fighting you could die from the coldness but that's just me really, heheh. Hmm let's see, and we played a lotta games and things, and it was a good chance to get to know the archis, including people from year levels other than first year, which I guess is pretty important for archi especially because you end up living at the studio and you see so much of each other you might as well like each other : P

This is gonna be a long long post.

So MT was in the first week of the holidays and in the second week I originally planned to do some work but of course that never works, but I did manage to get a very tiny little fraction done. GAH I gotta stop procrastinating. I promise I will do at least a quarter of my tech assignment riiiight after I finish writing this. I SWEAR !!!!!!!!! sigh. But yeah, I procrastinated a bit with the last media assignment and because of that I rushed it and it wasn't satisfactory at all. UGH.

THEREFORE, I'm trying to be more organised and play less these days, but things around me can be so distracting.

Man I needa buy a coat. I can't wear double layers of jumpers all year because I look effing fat ~__~

Oh I also gotta go shopping at Fabric OMGSH YAY ><>

Speaking of, it was my 19th birthday 2 days ago and I had a get together thing the night before, I was so so happy heheheheh. I have such great friends +___+ I invited archi friends as well and they said very nice things about my friends, : D YOU GUYS GREAT. I LOVE YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS BEST.

Oh oh also in the holidays, Zoe and Ky and I finally got the envelope tattoos. FINALLY

And heyyy, this is my media assignment. It's an archive of different ways to create images or drawings. You're meant to slide it out and it goes around and out... heheheh well the concept is quite cute but because it's so big (it's A2) you gotta really be careful not to like.. wear out the corners or get caught on something and rip it or whatever. Also the black case part is made of 2mm board and it's too weak... it was falling apart half an hour before hand in and I'm sure it broke again after hand in. Damn. Anyway here it is closed:

Okay, I think this is long enough for now? heheheheh HAPPY JESSIE?! ^^ Well, thanks for nagging me.